Taking Risks
Jaime Speed
I count / and then I count again / I count 12 / I check again / she has 12 / teeth / like notches on a clock / send positive thoughts / second thought / send fish tacos / 12 teeth / the whole mouthful // of risk my breast takes / sometimes I’m afraid / I won’t get it back / it’s likely / she’s pocketed a goldfish / cracker / to the side of her mouth / seriously / what is that / and how did I leave / my coffee just out of reach / nursing moms / drink coffee too / and wine / we bubble up / with a few beers / we miss our friends / we don’t know what we’ve gotten / ourselves into / or if we’ll get it back / we’re not sure // what we’ll miss / or if we pressed start / on the laundry machine / 3 days ago / that was 3 days ago / and there were only 11 teeth then / now she could eat a fish taco / with confidence / why nurse / or why not / who gets it back / my first // daughter / labeled a failure to thrive / clamped / mouth and bluish arms / the clock ticking / the letdown / I crave / every milk / sleepy sigh / under moon-wet eyes / stained bra / every chest / pounding fist / heart / pump / this hand / latching onto / a feeling missed // where the empty room is // where the toothy smile is // worth the risk
Jaime Speed
I count / and then I count again / I count 12 / I check again / she has 12 / teeth / like notches on a clock / send positive thoughts / second thought / send fish tacos / 12 teeth / the whole mouthful // of risk my breast takes / sometimes I’m afraid / I won’t get it back / it’s likely / she’s pocketed a goldfish / cracker / to the side of her mouth / seriously / what is that / and how did I leave / my coffee just out of reach / nursing moms / drink coffee too / and wine / we bubble up / with a few beers / we miss our friends / we don’t know what we’ve gotten / ourselves into / or if we’ll get it back / we’re not sure // what we’ll miss / or if we pressed start / on the laundry machine / 3 days ago / that was 3 days ago / and there were only 11 teeth then / now she could eat a fish taco / with confidence / why nurse / or why not / who gets it back / my first // daughter / labeled a failure to thrive / clamped / mouth and bluish arms / the clock ticking / the letdown / I crave / every milk / sleepy sigh / under moon-wet eyes / stained bra / every chest / pounding fist / heart / pump / this hand / latching onto / a feeling missed // where the empty room is // where the toothy smile is // worth the risk