Olga Suvorova, from The Girls series
The 1945 Project
Noah Berlatsky
The greatest president of all time is the Beatles.
Or maybe Dylan. He defeated Yoko with a rolling stone and then led the Civil Rights Movement.
He had a dream. But what about Abraham Lincoln?
How would you rank him?
Well, you need a lot of dead people you’ve never heard of to build an Abraham Lincoln.
Most people don’t know that the past used to be black and white like in Schindler’s List with President Liam Neeson.
Except for a little bit of red so you can tell which dead person matters.
Elvis invented hip hop and hips but comparing him to Atticus Finch leading the reading list out of bondage is oranges and apples.
Jack Kirby spat appleseeds across America which is why we have trees and won World War II.
Did I mention we won World War II?
We won World War II.
Then James Fenimore Cooper’s pectorals grew.
They birthed his big blue ox Francis Ford Coppola and liberated Timbuctoo.
Kaiju JK Rowling ate Charles Lindbergh and then roared her rolling oratory across Missouri until the Union compromised on just the right amount of injustices.
George Orwell and Margaret Atwood built 24 number one hits out of elephant carcasses.
Ringo invented funk drumming.
Without Ringo there would be no funk drumming.
But without Henry Ford we would never have manufactured democracy.
Noah Berlatsky
The greatest president of all time is the Beatles.
Or maybe Dylan. He defeated Yoko with a rolling stone and then led the Civil Rights Movement.
He had a dream. But what about Abraham Lincoln?
How would you rank him?
Well, you need a lot of dead people you’ve never heard of to build an Abraham Lincoln.
Most people don’t know that the past used to be black and white like in Schindler’s List with President Liam Neeson.
Except for a little bit of red so you can tell which dead person matters.
Elvis invented hip hop and hips but comparing him to Atticus Finch leading the reading list out of bondage is oranges and apples.
Jack Kirby spat appleseeds across America which is why we have trees and won World War II.
Did I mention we won World War II?
We won World War II.
Then James Fenimore Cooper’s pectorals grew.
They birthed his big blue ox Francis Ford Coppola and liberated Timbuctoo.
Kaiju JK Rowling ate Charles Lindbergh and then roared her rolling oratory across Missouri until the Union compromised on just the right amount of injustices.
George Orwell and Margaret Atwood built 24 number one hits out of elephant carcasses.
Ringo invented funk drumming.
Without Ringo there would be no funk drumming.
But without Henry Ford we would never have manufactured democracy.